Tracing My Path: How Did I Get Here?

Sixteen years ago, I had no idea I would become a caregiver and I certainly didn’t expect to be taking care of family members for almost two decades. Right now, I’m in my family room/makeshift office. Before I became a caregiver, I had an office/craft room on the first level of our town home. Now, that area is where I take care of family, most recently my mother.

Before I became a caregiver, I didn’t realize how drastically my life would change and the unexpected expenses we would face. Rich Dad Poor Dad calls these surprise costs “Doodads!”  

If your loved one lives with you and depending on their condition, additional expenses can include:

• Utilities
• Groceries
• Car maintenance
• Gas
• Adult diapers
• Wipes
• Shower chair
• Bedside commode
• Replacing a recliner with a lift chair.
• Modifying a bathroom or installing a handicap-accessible bathroom
• Rearranging and removing furniture to accommodate a wheelchair and eventually a Hoyer Lift.
• Installing a stair lift.

For the most part, Medicare doesn’t cover these expenses; however, there are circumstances where Medicare will cover shower chairs, bedside commodes and a Hoyer lift.

How It Started

Gladys

My caregiving journey began with my god-sister, Gladys. She suffered a stroke in 2006 and initially moved in with my daughter in Pennsylvania. By 2008, we decided to bring Gladys to Georgia to live with me. Before her arrival, I had a handicap bathroom installed on the first floor near her room. At that time, Gladys had Alzheimer’s but was still able to use a walker and manage basic tasks independently. She passed away shortly after Thanksgiving in 2010 at age 95 due to Alzheimer’s complications.

Lillian

The summer of 2011 marked the next chapter with my Aunt Lillian. My mother needed help caring for her sister. Lillian was blind, deaf, and had dementia. At 81, Mom couldn’t manage her sister’s needs alone. My husband and his brothers packed up their belongings, and we moved them from Nashville to Georgia. Fortunately, I had a small three-bedroom house I had purchased for retirement income that was unoccupied. Lillian lived there with Mom until her death in 2017 at age 90.

Cordell

In 2018, my cousin Cordell came to Georgia to live with Mom. Due to his many medical issues, he ended up living with me. Cordell was mobile and could function independently, but between dialysis, blood transfusions, and doctor visits, I spent most of my week taking him to appointments. He died in 2020 at age 79.

Ruth

Initially Mom moved to Georgia because she needed help with her sister.  After Lillian died, Mom was happy to live alone but that came to an end five years later. Too many falls and calls from her medical alert provider caused us to reevaluate her living arrangements.  We moved her in with us in 2022.

Caregiving Can Affect Your Health

• Lack of sleep
• Increased stress
• Weight gain
• High blood pressure
• Hair loss

Caregiving Can Affect Your Lifestyle

• Decreased social interactions
• Less time of your own
• Not as much time for your hobbies and interests
• No spontaneity
• Lack of family support
• Vanishing friends
• Employment problems

This journey continues to be challenging, eye-opening, and very personal. It confirms the unexpected paths life can take and the strength we find within ourselves to care for those we love.

Eventually, I will post individual stories about Gladys, Lillian, Cordell and Mom. Those stories will share a little about them and their needs when I cared for them.  I’d love to hear your thoughts as I continue to share my journey.